I’m a coupla months into the new job now, and all’s well so far. Please note that the operative phrase is ‘so far’. :) And the next time someone asks you, it IS true..... Switching to classroom mode is near impossible after you’ve gotten used to an office routine.
Yours truly finds her head swaying dangerously within twenty minutes of starting a class, like she’s a teetering coconut tree/pissed drunk/a hired cabaret dancer/whatever….Zzzz!!
No, that wasn’t supposed to make sense.
The net result is that my similarly fresh-in-the-system colleagues get some free entertainment at my expense. They think that my eyeballs drifting in opposite directions are a treat to behold. Well, I guess you gotta keep yourself entertained when there isn’t one remotely cute guy in the vicinity.
Change that to ‘one guy on the right side of forty’.
Gloom. :'((
Anyway, this post is to commemorate the fact that I’ll always find a proverbial haddi in the kabab platter that I call my professional life.
The haddi in this case is a trainer who periodicallysaddles bestows his excruciating self on an unsuspecting batch. Dude’s a doctorate holder in Management who, quite interestingly, treats MBAs like the scum of the earth. The cherry on top is that he also can’t stand private commercial banks and everything they stand for.... that should give you a good idea of where I stand in his version of the professional food chain. ;P
The only definite ‘learning’ I can boast of after his sessions is that I’ve indefinitely postponed all plans of entering the academic side of management. I swear I haven’t come across a more pompous know-all. All of us are secure in the knowledge that nothing we can ever say or do is correct or astounding enough for his liking.
Add to that the fact that his name sounds almost exactly like popular lingo for the posterior.
Cackle, cackle!!!>;-D
Note: Despite the jibes this IS a lament of sorts.
FYI, the Zahra Code of Conduct is explicitly against ridiculing accents and poor grammar, but the rules were amended recently to exempt bombastic profs who pretend to know everything and massacre the language too.
Aadiyo-vishwal taarchur yat its best-eye-sayyy....
Here’s a sampler…. Read aloud for maximum effect.
Prof: Yinn dhee kaanteksht aaff this try-ning, yoo are yekspected to no dhee sigh-nergeezz aaff bizznuss praacess.....
Zahra: Eh?? Vaat-yoo aar saiyying-eye-say....
Prof: ....Akkaarding tuyoo, vaat dhees sigh-nergee eess?
Colleague: (Fairly coherent answer)
Prof: Oooaahh…..vyyy yoowall aar taalkingg lik-eh vanilla yumbeeyaayys?? Yinn yuwar carriers (sic) widh-dhees UFO (Unidentified Financial Organization) yoo shudd gobee yondha sir-faze aaff yish-shoes....(proceeds to repeat colleague’s points under the guise of the correct answer) ....blah blah blah.
Zahra: Hai bhagwan, main vanilla se tutti-frutti kab banoongi? :-/
Prof: Drone, drone....shaaar yuwar yuck-speriyenss with the group no? Yennydhingg yoowandoo shaar?
Zahra: Vaat....I mean...what? Err...Ummm....(How about “I’m a recovering alcoholic”?)
Note: “Yuck”-speriyenss is closer to the truth than he thinks.
Zahra: (Gas, globe and gyaan. All delivered at the speed of....well...sound.)
Well, whaddya expect??? I'm an MBA, okay??
Prof: (Gas, globe, and gyaan....to the effect that Zahra is a prime example of a useless product of a useless management education system, with a useless commercial bank ex-employer to boot....)
Zahra: Sighhhh....can’t win ‘em all y’know....
The fact that I narrowly missed being interviewed by this man is proof enough for me that there is a God AND He luuuuuuuuuuvvs me :D
The second point in favor of that claim is that my current boss is a person who’s actually got a reputation for being sane. And all that I’ve seen so far confirms it….. yeah, it’s too early to tell, but who cares?? Carpe diem, folks!!!
Interesting aside: Trainer dude keeps sporting a series of grimaces while talking....I first thought he was in physical pain, but then realized that it was an indicator of the seriousness of the topic.
On second thoughts, it could actually be a bad case of hemorrhoids.
Tricky things, these.
Prof: Dhink shtraaatejickalee....dhink lie-kku seenyur maan-age-urrrssss....bakwaas bakwaas bakwaas.....
Zahra: Yes, yes, I swear I will....but for the love of God, let us go!!
Finally, the class ends…or rather, is forcibly ended by a bunch of cranky, irritated, new recruits on various pretexts.
And so we live (barely just) to fight another day.
Not that we particularly want to.
Yours truly finds her head swaying dangerously within twenty minutes of starting a class, like she’s a teetering coconut tree/pissed drunk/a hired cabaret dancer/whatever….Zzzz!!
No, that wasn’t supposed to make sense.
The net result is that my similarly fresh-in-the-system colleagues get some free entertainment at my expense. They think that my eyeballs drifting in opposite directions are a treat to behold. Well, I guess you gotta keep yourself entertained when there isn’t one remotely cute guy in the vicinity.
Change that to ‘one guy on the right side of forty’.
Gloom. :'((
Anyway, this post is to commemorate the fact that I’ll always find a proverbial haddi in the kabab platter that I call my professional life.
The haddi in this case is a trainer who periodically
The only definite ‘learning’ I can boast of after his sessions is that I’ve indefinitely postponed all plans of entering the academic side of management. I swear I haven’t come across a more pompous know-all. All of us are secure in the knowledge that nothing we can ever say or do is correct or astounding enough for his liking.
Add to that the fact that his name sounds almost exactly like popular lingo for the posterior.
Cackle, cackle!!!>;-D
Note: Despite the jibes this IS a lament of sorts.
FYI, the Zahra Code of Conduct is explicitly against ridiculing accents and poor grammar, but the rules were amended recently to exempt bombastic profs who pretend to know everything and massacre the language too.
Aadiyo-vishwal taarchur yat its best-eye-sayyy....
Here’s a sampler…. Read aloud for maximum effect.
Prof: Yinn dhee kaanteksht aaff this try-ning, yoo are yekspected to no dhee sigh-nergeezz aaff bizznuss praacess.....
Zahra: Eh?? Vaat-yoo aar saiyying-eye-say....
Prof: ....Akkaarding tuyoo, vaat dhees sigh-nergee eess?
Colleague: (Fairly coherent answer)
Prof: Oooaahh…..vyyy yoowall aar taalkingg lik-eh vanilla yumbeeyaayys?? Yinn yuwar carriers (sic) widh-dhees UFO (Unidentified Financial Organization) yoo shudd gobee yondha sir-faze aaff yish-shoes....(proceeds to repeat colleague’s points under the guise of the correct answer) ....blah blah blah.
Zahra: Hai bhagwan, main vanilla se tutti-frutti kab banoongi? :-/
Prof: Drone, drone....shaaar yuwar yuck-speriyenss with the group no? Yennydhingg yoowandoo shaar?
Zahra: Vaat....I mean...what? Err...Ummm....(How about “I’m a recovering alcoholic”?)
Note: “Yuck”-speriyenss is closer to the truth than he thinks.
Zahra: (Gas, globe and gyaan. All delivered at the speed of....well...sound.)
Well, whaddya expect??? I'm an MBA, okay??
Prof: (Gas, globe, and gyaan....to the effect that Zahra is a prime example of a useless product of a useless management education system, with a useless commercial bank ex-employer to boot....)
Zahra: Sighhhh....can’t win ‘em all y’know....
The fact that I narrowly missed being interviewed by this man is proof enough for me that there is a God AND He luuuuuuuuuuvvs me :D
The second point in favor of that claim is that my current boss is a person who’s actually got a reputation for being sane. And all that I’ve seen so far confirms it….. yeah, it’s too early to tell, but who cares?? Carpe diem, folks!!!
Interesting aside: Trainer dude keeps sporting a series of grimaces while talking....I first thought he was in physical pain, but then realized that it was an indicator of the seriousness of the topic.
On second thoughts, it could actually be a bad case of hemorrhoids.
Tricky things, these.
Prof: Dhink shtraaatejickalee....dhink lie-kku seenyur maan-age-urrrssss....bakwaas bakwaas bakwaas.....
Zahra: Yes, yes, I swear I will....but for the love of God, let us go!!
Finally, the class ends…or rather, is forcibly ended by a bunch of cranky, irritated, new recruits on various pretexts.
And so we live (barely just) to fight another day.
Not that we particularly want to.
6 comments:
That was a nice post. Had me in splits. Had a tough time in reading through the text though, but was worth it. Keep posting.
@Alexis
Thanks for stopping by...glad you liked it!! :)
You got a new job????/
Where? What profile? Im so happy for you!
Mehak
Interesting.
@Mehak
"Mee-hack", ma luv :)...hope u got the answers to that q...btw, now I know where to look for beauty tips!! :D
@PN Subramanian
Glad you think so :)
Sorry abt the late reply though....
Hi Zahra,
happened to be going through my blog today after ages, and seeing your comments was reminded of you.
Well, it seems you haven't also blogged in a while, which is a pity given that you write so well.
How are you? And where is life taking you these days?
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