Here goes...

Finally. After a couple of years of thinking about it, and nearly a year of telling myself to do it, I've started writing. Don't ask me why I didn't start sooner...there are a million reasons, real and invented. Inertia, work, exhaustion, no time (Yeah, haven't we all heard that one before), other priorities (Ha!), I had a pimple on my nose, no other female in the office had a pimple on her nose, yada, yada, yada. Not to mention that procrastination happens to be my middle name as well.

And what do I intend to write about? Well, no answer to that yet, 'coz I intend to find out as I go along. This came about as the only option after crossing out everything else on the list. The reason's simple enough. I need someone/something that'll let me speak out whatever's on my mind, without bothering about any of that tact/political correctness/niceness bull****. Since the 'someone' seems light years away on the horizon (or a figment of my imagination at times), my laptop and therefore a blog was the way to go

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't have friends or folksI love talking to. There are some things that only the person thinking about it can possibly comprehend. There are also some things that I'd probably be desperate to get off my mind, and still NOT be interested in actuallytalking about it. And being a specimen of humanity who's perpetually in the 'think-say-think-oh-damn-shoulda-thought-more-think-oh-what-the-heck' mode, or more commonly in the 'dont-think-only-speak-then-think-oh-what-the-beep' mode, a blog becomes more of a necessity than .... err... a mobile. No, clothes. Food?? Money??? Whatever. Just realized that there are a host of necessities that I'd rather not have to choose from.

See?? It's working already....writing's making me think deeper.

(Barf)

Ohhh-kaaayyyyy......
...hopeless attempt at a smart oneliner.

It's amazing how life has settled into this pretty well-defined rut post b-school. Five and a half endless weekdays, a weekend that's over even before I start thinking about what I'm gonna do, and voila, I'm back where I started. Add to that inanely repetitive, zero value-add work, canatnkerous clients who think I AM the datamart AND data creator if need be, throw in a few retarded (seriously!) colleagues, and you have a foolproof formula to make any ordinary human being lose it and turn into a fuddled, bumbling automaton. But hope shines through yet.... little do the vile rodents responsible realize that the heroine in question never had 'it' in the first place, to lose 'it' ever.

>;-D

Eeeeyyoowchh. Another saaaaaaaad PJ.

Coming back to reality...making time to do something I enjoy, like reading or doing a crossword, is a seperate task in itself these days. In all likelihood, this is gonna worsen as time goes by. Which in turn makes me wonder if I really am on the right track after all.

To all outward appearances, I've got everything I could ask for. With some significant exceptions of course.
1. I'm paid chicken**** compared to 80% of my batch.
2. And I'm living in Mumbai which has to be THE most hideously pricey city I've ever lived in. Unless I switch to a vada-pav and water diet. But love the city all the same.
3. AND my body resolutely refuses to get into any shape other than the amoeba shaped mass it is right now.

Ok, so I exaggerate. This amoeba has arms and legs, a distinct face, as well as curves. Admittedly a few more than I'd like and some in all the wrong places. Like 'convex' where it should be 'concave', but curves all the same. Sigh squared. Time for a self cheering session in front of the mirror. To tell myself that true beauty lies within (Hoohaa....who're you kidding baby??). And that people would like me only for what I truly am. Don't I feel like a million dollars already. Which again doesn't count for much, given the currency freefall not too long ago.

Jeez.... looks like I'll have to change the name of this blog to 'Cogito Ergo Doleo' or something like that.

Coming to the main point (yet again!)...Gotta keep my hopelessly distracted brains in check..long enough to write a coupla coherent and cohesive paragraphs atleast. Back to the job front. Bigshot managers who are walking, gas manufacturing units unto themselves are dime-a-dozen. With all the gyaan and gas they keep spewing around so freely, I do have my serious doubts of whether that is what actually aspire to reach. Or turn into. Scary thought.

Like, waxing eloquent on the most arbit, global gyaan concepts to clear your exam and earn your degree is one thing. Doing it day in and day out to earn a living is something else altogether. And seeing these folks get appreciatied for doing this kinda thing actually gives me the heebie-jeebies. Makes me lose faith in the system.

Not that I had much to begin with anyway.

Been thinking more frequently about making a switch these days. To something radically different and non MBA-ish. Chance meetings and conversations over the last few days have reinforced this thought. Mebbe it's a sign that the One above thinks on similar lines too. Or it's probably a part of that vague yet constant sense of wanting to cock a snook at everybody and dance to a distant piper I hear all the time. Hopefully will be clearer in a few months time.