Friday, March 16, 2012

R.I.P. little girl....

It's kinda ironic that the day I pulled out and published a draft on one of the most hyped female births in the country, another little girl lost her battle with the aftermath of brutality.

Rest, Baby Falak...... and sleep painlessly.

Neglect, abuse, pain, and suffering.

What happened to you was exactly what I pray every child should be protected from.

To B or not to B?


I know this is pretty late but I really don’t think BetiB had a choice in the matter.

I mean, really, what could the poor kid possibly do about being born into the best known family of Bollywood?

It was kinda amusing actually. The media in this country (or anywhere for that matter), doesn’t really need any excuse to make a hue and cry and get the cameras rolling (hidden or otherwise)....but this was beyond crazy. Let’s have a quick timeline scan, shall we?

2007: Is Aishwarya pregnant?

2008: Is Aishwarya pregnant?

2009: Is Aishwarya pregnant?

2010: Is Aishwarya pregnant?

2011: Is Aishwarya pregnant?

Mebbe there was even a meme floating around saying “Ash, y u no pregnant?”

She’s got my sympathy actually.....A uterus becomes public property the moment its owner gets married in this country. But last I heard, folks are getting more media-happy and less finicky about the married bit..... call me a feminist tight*** but I resent having my privates and periods or the lack of them becoming the subject of even family discussions, so I can’t even imagine having it splashed in the glossies and tabloids...... chin up sistah, I’m with you.

2011: Aishwarya is pregnant!

Ho hum...what’s new..... waitaminit, different word order!!!

Aishwarya goes for scan (Drumroll)

Aishwarya meets doctor (Oh wow, didn’t know a pregnancy involved all that!)

Aishwarya comes back from scan (Hallelujah chorus, anyone?)

Boy or girl for Bachchans?(Not a problem for the rest of us y’know...we pre-order)

11-11-2011, the chosen date!!!

Bachchans anxious about new arrival (yeah, yeah, whatever....)

It’s landed...err...arrived...scratch that, she’s BORN, born I say!!!

And to all those phoney pundits who predicted a boy.....hooohooohahahaha!!!

I know, not very elegant...but even Zahra the Magnificent occasionally departs from protocol.

Ash not ‘too posh to push’

Ahem....I for one was pretty certain that she wouldn’t be pole-dancing to an item number, but people y’know..... always have to have the details.

Am not really pointing fingers at the Bachchans here....it doesn’t look like they’d be kept out of the spotlight even if they asked to. And fine, Ash is generally considered one of the best looking in the world.


But why all the hype, yaar?!?!?!?!

By all that’s wonderful, we ARE the second most populous country in the world, in case you didn’t notice.

Which by default means that...err...procreation is something we are pretty (Cough, cough, ahem...) adept at.  And do a LOT of. We even tell the world how to do it. Vatsyayana anyone?

Which therefore points us (okay, okay, ME) to the conclusion that Ash’s having a baby shouldn’t really be a headline grabbing event. Even after the Ash factor is, umm, factored in.

Yeah, the step-by-step listing is an ex-analytics-drone hangover.

And now the spotlight is on the baby’s name.

Apparently Junior B has told the media that they’re looking for a name that starts with “Aa”. Fodder enough for the next round of guessing games..... Aarti, Aashna, Aashika, Aaliya, Aardvark...what will it be?

Yes dear reader, the last one is an animal.....decidedly not a pageant-winner in looks. I have always emphasized that this blog is for those with an intellectual turn.

Okayyyyyy fine, that was a lame attempt to explain away the single-digit readership.

But back to the point.

And now it’s Oprah-behn who’s supposedly going to be revealing BetiB’s official handle to the world. Oh well, sari-clad-emotionally-charged-yankee-twanged introduction alert!

All I gotta say is watch out while giving the job to a lady who owes her name to a mispronunciation.
:)

Update : This lay in the drafts section long enough for Abhi-Ash to make up their minds (apparently).... so welcome to world Aaradhya Bachchan!!