Have yourself a whole five minutes of solo time this morning. To realise that it's Christmas time again, and reflect on the past year.To be thankful that you're in one piece and alive to celebrate it. To remember for a moment those who've moved on, and be grateful for the ones who're still around.
Have yourself the thrill that comes from hearing the buzz that pervades the house. Which doesn't happen on any other occasion ever.
Have yourself the luxury of admiring your Christmas tree for a moment. Of thinking that it is the most beautiful tree on the face of the earth despite being smaller than most and thoroughly battered by your growing-up years.
Have yourself the fun of answering calls and happy greetings from friends and family around. Of back slapping cheeriness and hearty "Look-who's-here"s as everybody comes together.
Have yourself a warm, happy feeling in your heart when you step into a church decked up to the nines. When you see the people you know around. When you call out "Merry Christmas!" in all sincerity despite the fact that you're at loggerheads with them the rest of the year.
Have yourself those I-shouldnt-have-had-that-third-appam feelings inspite of having warned yourself not to overdo it this year. And huge servings of biryani later in the day, with little morsels of plum cake in between. And excuse yourself by saying that Christmas comes along just once each year.
Have yourself the joys of singing carols at the top of your voice, despite being tone deaf and having the neighbours beg for mercy. Of knowing that these songs somehow will never lose their charm despite having heard them all your life.
Have yourself that sense of optimism that comes through on Christmas, no matter what may shake the earth and your faith on other days.
Most of all, have yourself a very merry Christmas and lots and lots of fun. And may you have a wonderful 2009 to look forward to.
Have fun, take care and God bless.
Love
Zahra
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
The Fellowship of the Ring(less)
Ohmigod.
I can’t believe I actually did this. On my last trip home , I finally gave in to my parents’ subtle demands. Oh well, ‘subtle’ is soooo 2007……. Now it’s more like the Exorcist theme score.
I…errr…. Ahem…. I…… damn, I can’t say this!!!
Oh then TYPE it out lady.
I…. cough, cough….. actually helped them create a profile for me on a matrimonial site. :( :( I solemnly swear that I don’t drink or do drugs.
Stop sniggering willya???
Btw, am pretty sure they’ve already explored multiple alternatives to foist their darling one and only onto some unwitting nalla payyan out there. Note: Do they exist???My suspicions hit an all time high when I saw a string of mails from the Malayala Manorama ID in Dad’s mailbox. I just happened to stop by his desk to ask something, and there was this sudden Alt + Tab rhythm that got started. For the uninitiated, the Malayala Manorama is not just a Mallu newspaper, it’s also the best friend of Mallu parents who don’t know what to do next with their twenty somethings.
I did have my doubts about the wisdom of it alright. Especially since
A) I’m in no particular hurry to tie the knot.
B) My parents’ and my idea of a nice guy vs okay-okay guy tend to clash occasionally
C) Have to keep reminding them that their dream son-in-law is right up there with Santa Claus, dragons and fairies….. a creature of fantasy.
D) And I have to keep reminding myself that all the guys I’ve dreamed of are unattainable public figures, who are married or committed to disgustingly gorgeous women…or just don’t exist. Sigh.
E) As a follow on to (D), the Enchantress reminds me it could be worse. The dream man might just turn out to be gay. Aiyyayyoooo…and good men are a rarity already.
F) Help me God, what if this whole website thingie actually works???? :-S
But on careful consideration it seemed only fair to help them out. After all, parents are bound to need help when they have a gorgeous, amazingly talented and supremely intelligent daughter on their hands.
No, I don’t have a sister.
Kinda dense aren’t you? I was talking about myself.
But here’s a little confession….. Browsing through some of the profiles made me think I shoulda started this eons ago…… I had no clue there was SO much entertainment on the net for free!!!! ;-D
Tomes have been written about the kinds of matrimonial ads that get published…. Some noteworthy blog posts have been dedicated to them too. But honestly, some of these profiles make you laugh out loud, or think really hard.
Among the giggle-worthy, here are some gems I found :
1. “Looking for a partner….. blah blah blah….. who also likes to cook and rear children.”
Hellooooo?!?!?! :-O Somebody pleeeeease get him a copy of Eats, shoots and leaves.
2. “She should be a candle light for me in my hours (sic) of darkness..”
Buddy, what you need is either an agony aunt or an inverter. Or a plain bulb. And you talk like you expect a LOT of darkness ahead……. NOT the best attention grabber for a future mate. Ladies, I see the potential for a lot of skeletons in this closet.
3. “I’m a coooooooool guy!!!”
I swear that’s exactly what was written. And ALL that was written. Stay far, far away from this one, Zahra-girl. This is the type your friends warned you about on Orkut.
4. “I’m a deeply religious, pious and spiritual person.”
Not that there’s anything wrong with that statement….. Faith matters to me too. But the overall tone of this particular profile left me kinda confused….. I didn’t know whether to continue reading, cross myself or light a candle. Methinks we’ve got the next Vatican canonization here.
5. “Myself a very handsome, caring, sensitive, dynamic personality….”
I just cannot compete with such perfection. You forgot to add ‘unshakeable self-esteem’ to your virtues buddy. Btw, about your profile pic….. Shades that cover 85% of your face don’t help. Especially since the uncovered 15% is not exactly standalone material….. nothing personal, just an objective observation.
My folks discreetly sugest that a profile pic will be in orer.
Mental sticky note: Upload a pic of Lolakutty.... we're talking wholesome Mallu gorge-yess-ness here.
:P
Hmmm…. One of the inescapable phases of quarter-life I guess….. at least the family’s getting some free entertainment.
Quite a few of my fellow victims in the Fellowship of the Ring(less) are in similar predicaments. My best friend (who’s a Bong) wishes that Bong guys were known for physique and looks too, not just academic credentials. Coz all her ‘prospects’ to date have been exceptionally geeky-looking Bong-men with multiple Ivy League qualifications. Anybody who can change that trend…..the geeky one….please let me know….. FYI, you’ll have to be single and Bong AND really tall (coz she is) AAANNNDDD intelligent ('coz she is, VERY) to floor this babe. There. That’s my good karma for the week.
Btw neither of us are six-pack fans, so we’re not very choosy that way. But yeah, we don’t dig family packs either.
On a serious note, it’s kinda disturbing that a LOT of people mention ‘fair’ as a criterion before education or personality or anything else. What’s with this fairness fixation anyway??? Especially when the same guys might be drooling over the not-exactly-fair Bipasha Basu. I know this horse’s been bludgeoned to death, but I just had to give my two cents’ worth of kicks.
Oh and did I tell you, I got a response to my profile the very next day ;-P
The mail started like this.....
“I came across your profile and found it SOOO interesting, I hope you don’t mind (sic)…”
There were a coupla smileys too, for my benefit. Oh yes I mind. Terribly. That profile was meant to be uninteresting and solely for my private edification.
Incidentally this guy has apparently not bothered to use a community/region/language filter while searching. Guess chronic spammers have to do their thing whenever, wherever.Needless to say, that guy’s email got the ‘Delete’ treatment.
Appaaa...AmMAAAAAAAA.... I told you this wasn’t a good idea.
I can’t believe I actually did this. On my last trip home , I finally gave in to my parents’ subtle demands. Oh well, ‘subtle’ is soooo 2007……. Now it’s more like the Exorcist theme score.
I…errr…. Ahem…. I…… damn, I can’t say this!!!
Oh then TYPE it out lady.
I…. cough, cough….. actually helped them create a profile for me on a matrimonial site. :( :( I solemnly swear that I don’t drink or do drugs.
Stop sniggering willya???
Btw, am pretty sure they’ve already explored multiple alternatives to foist their darling one and only onto some unwitting nalla payyan out there. Note: Do they exist???My suspicions hit an all time high when I saw a string of mails from the Malayala Manorama ID in Dad’s mailbox. I just happened to stop by his desk to ask something, and there was this sudden Alt + Tab rhythm that got started. For the uninitiated, the Malayala Manorama is not just a Mallu newspaper, it’s also the best friend of Mallu parents who don’t know what to do next with their twenty somethings.
I did have my doubts about the wisdom of it alright. Especially since
A) I’m in no particular hurry to tie the knot.
B) My parents’ and my idea of a nice guy vs okay-okay guy tend to clash occasionally
C) Have to keep reminding them that their dream son-in-law is right up there with Santa Claus, dragons and fairies….. a creature of fantasy.
D) And I have to keep reminding myself that all the guys I’ve dreamed of are unattainable public figures, who are married or committed to disgustingly gorgeous women…or just don’t exist. Sigh.
E) As a follow on to (D), the Enchantress reminds me it could be worse. The dream man might just turn out to be gay. Aiyyayyoooo…and good men are a rarity already.
F) Help me God, what if this whole website thingie actually works???? :-S
But on careful consideration it seemed only fair to help them out. After all, parents are bound to need help when they have a gorgeous, amazingly talented and supremely intelligent daughter on their hands.
No, I don’t have a sister.
Kinda dense aren’t you? I was talking about myself.
But here’s a little confession….. Browsing through some of the profiles made me think I shoulda started this eons ago…… I had no clue there was SO much entertainment on the net for free!!!! ;-D
Tomes have been written about the kinds of matrimonial ads that get published…. Some noteworthy blog posts have been dedicated to them too. But honestly, some of these profiles make you laugh out loud, or think really hard.
Among the giggle-worthy, here are some gems I found :
1. “Looking for a partner….. blah blah blah….. who also likes to cook and rear children.”
Hellooooo?!?!?! :-O Somebody pleeeeease get him a copy of Eats, shoots and leaves.
2. “She should be a candle light for me in my hours (sic) of darkness..”
Buddy, what you need is either an agony aunt or an inverter. Or a plain bulb. And you talk like you expect a LOT of darkness ahead……. NOT the best attention grabber for a future mate. Ladies, I see the potential for a lot of skeletons in this closet.
3. “I’m a coooooooool guy!!!”
I swear that’s exactly what was written. And ALL that was written. Stay far, far away from this one, Zahra-girl. This is the type your friends warned you about on Orkut.
4. “I’m a deeply religious, pious and spiritual person.”
Not that there’s anything wrong with that statement….. Faith matters to me too. But the overall tone of this particular profile left me kinda confused….. I didn’t know whether to continue reading, cross myself or light a candle. Methinks we’ve got the next Vatican canonization here.
5. “Myself a very handsome, caring, sensitive, dynamic personality….”
I just cannot compete with such perfection. You forgot to add ‘unshakeable self-esteem’ to your virtues buddy. Btw, about your profile pic….. Shades that cover 85% of your face don’t help. Especially since the uncovered 15% is not exactly standalone material….. nothing personal, just an objective observation.
My folks discreetly sugest that a profile pic will be in orer.
Mental sticky note: Upload a pic of Lolakutty.... we're talking wholesome Mallu gorge-yess-ness here.
:P
Hmmm…. One of the inescapable phases of quarter-life I guess….. at least the family’s getting some free entertainment.
Quite a few of my fellow victims in the Fellowship of the Ring(less) are in similar predicaments. My best friend (who’s a Bong) wishes that Bong guys were known for physique and looks too, not just academic credentials. Coz all her ‘prospects’ to date have been exceptionally geeky-looking Bong-men with multiple Ivy League qualifications. Anybody who can change that trend…..the geeky one….please let me know….. FYI, you’ll have to be single and Bong AND really tall (coz she is) AAANNNDDD intelligent ('coz she is, VERY) to floor this babe. There. That’s my good karma for the week.
Btw neither of us are six-pack fans, so we’re not very choosy that way. But yeah, we don’t dig family packs either.
On a serious note, it’s kinda disturbing that a LOT of people mention ‘fair’ as a criterion before education or personality or anything else. What’s with this fairness fixation anyway??? Especially when the same guys might be drooling over the not-exactly-fair Bipasha Basu. I know this horse’s been bludgeoned to death, but I just had to give my two cents’ worth of kicks.
Oh and did I tell you, I got a response to my profile the very next day ;-P
The mail started like this.....
“I came across your profile and found it SOOO interesting, I hope you don’t mind (sic)…”
There were a coupla smileys too, for my benefit. Oh yes I mind. Terribly. That profile was meant to be uninteresting and solely for my private edification.
Incidentally this guy has apparently not bothered to use a community/region/language filter while searching. Guess chronic spammers have to do their thing whenever, wherever.Needless to say, that guy’s email got the ‘Delete’ treatment.
Appaaa...AmMAAAAAAAA.... I told you this wasn’t a good idea.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Paralysis by analysis?
Last Sunday evening was just like any other. Yours truly hovered somewhere around the confluence of boredom, inertia, and a growing awareness of yet another weekend slipping by. I flipped through mags and newspapers while my roomie caught up with Jodhaa Akbar on TV. Nothing new to read….. everything seemed to be a rehash of these ‘basic’ tenets :
1. Purple is the new black. Or pink. Or whatever. Every self proclaimed fashion guru is screaming his/her guts out about how anybody with dress sense cannot get enough of this colour. True. I cant get enough of Cadbury’s either.
2. Saif and Kareena are deeply in luuuuvvvv. Kareena says “Main unke bachchon ki maa banna chahti hoon”. Sho-shweet. Incidentally Bebo, some tabloid had already credited you with that line long before you said it. Whatever, lady. So long as I don’t have to see soppy lines in bold type on front pages everyday.
3. The auto industry is headed south. You telling me every other industry’s headed north??
4. Minister X accuses opposition of sowing the seeds of communal tension in the country.
5. Minister Y retorts that X and his party have let the country go to the dogs with their inefficiency. As evidenced by the recent terror attack.
6. Speaking of canines, dogs all over the country are up in arms at comments made by a certain senile Communist who is as mature as a cranky three year old. Canine leaders reaffirm that their community does not require party endorsements to merit human recognition.
Okay, I made up the last one. But dog lovers and humans everywhere are seeing red. And they’re not shouting pro-Marx slogans either.
A week’s gone by since the massacre at Mumbai. The media has dissected every second of the siege, shoved mikes in the face of every traumatized survivor, and made endless collages of a burning Taj, bloody corridors and slain fighters. No doubt it requires a LOT of guts to stay put at ground zero and provide updates, not knowing if a stray bullet’s gonna put a period to your life. Still, I can’t help but think that we’re guilty of overkill this time too. Now, it’s the CCTV footage of the shootout that’s doing the rounds on primetime slots.
Political parties are making the most of every mudslingin’ moment they get. And they’re ab-so-looooot-uh-ly lovin’ it. So much so that one prominent group just couldn’t wait to put out an ad in the paper asking citizens to vote for them if they wanted change. On Day Two of the siege at that. This, and the consequent blame game have finally convinced me that all our netas put together have a collective IQ + EQ in the region of -2500 (rounded).
Fresh opinions and theories have been thrown at my head every day of the past week. Public opinion also seems to follow a trend these days. Atleast the print representatives of the thinking public do.
First it was to point out that our heroes have fallen for the nation’s glory, and that we should not let their sacrifice go in vain. Weep Mumbai, for it’s your defining icon that’s under siege. THE Taj Mahal hotel. SoBo with its old-world charm has finally lost its peaceful aura to terrorist bullets.
Then it was to speculate on the possibility of an insider job. Otherwise, HOW could there have been such a massive intelligence failure?
All Indians everywhere, look seaward…..The very route used to fuel the communal riots of the early ‘90’s has been used again. Such audacity! Bull. If we couldn’t find the time to do anything in 15 years, then we had it coming.
Parallels, parallels everywhere. My…what a tangled web we weave.
India’s 9/11. Why we have to draw parallels with the US for every damn thing still mystifies me.
The NSG took only two hours to reach the Maldives when a coup started. Why nine within India? Buddy, if I knew that I would also tell you why we let off Union Carbide with nothing more than a rap on the knuckles for virtual genocide 24 years ago.
Angry declarations now. The celebrated Mumbaikar resilience may be finally showing signs of wear. Enough, we say!
The intellectual elite of the country scoff at the peace marches and candlelight vigils. This won’t get you anywhere, they smirk.
The latest question doing the rounds is why there was no coverage of the massacre at VT, no mention of thirty innocents who lost their lives.
Finally, the wheels have turned full circle.
How come Mumbai is finally demanding action?
Does chalta hai, yeh sab hota hai hold only for the aam aadmi? So, it hurts when the elite are hit in their watering holes eh??
And WHEN did the Taj become an icon of Mumbai?? The crowded trains of Mumbai define the spirit of the city better. Therefore, VT is a more appropriate choice of icon.
This country will never cease to amaze me.
In the meantime, I’m gonna go and light a candle for the dead at the makeshift shrine in the corner of my street. A shrine complete with a garishly done collage of pics of the slain top cops.
I’m no Socrates-meets-Einstein-meets-Gandhi hybrid, but I still maintain that some action, even of solidarity, is way WAAAYYY better than no action at all.
To cut a long story short, we Indians are back to doing what we do best. Pointing fingers.
Keep up the rigmarole people, and pretty soon we’ll have a nation that is more than willing to point the middle digit at the powers that be.
And then twiddle its billion times two thumbs till terror, tragedy and apathy meet and snuff out a hundred times something more innocent lives.
Yet again.
1. Purple is the new black. Or pink. Or whatever. Every self proclaimed fashion guru is screaming his/her guts out about how anybody with dress sense cannot get enough of this colour. True. I cant get enough of Cadbury’s either.
2. Saif and Kareena are deeply in luuuuvvvv. Kareena says “Main unke bachchon ki maa banna chahti hoon”. Sho-shweet. Incidentally Bebo, some tabloid had already credited you with that line long before you said it. Whatever, lady. So long as I don’t have to see soppy lines in bold type on front pages everyday.
3. The auto industry is headed south. You telling me every other industry’s headed north??
4. Minister X accuses opposition of sowing the seeds of communal tension in the country.
5. Minister Y retorts that X and his party have let the country go to the dogs with their inefficiency. As evidenced by the recent terror attack.
6. Speaking of canines, dogs all over the country are up in arms at comments made by a certain senile Communist who is as mature as a cranky three year old. Canine leaders reaffirm that their community does not require party endorsements to merit human recognition.
Okay, I made up the last one. But dog lovers and humans everywhere are seeing red. And they’re not shouting pro-Marx slogans either.
A week’s gone by since the massacre at Mumbai. The media has dissected every second of the siege, shoved mikes in the face of every traumatized survivor, and made endless collages of a burning Taj, bloody corridors and slain fighters. No doubt it requires a LOT of guts to stay put at ground zero and provide updates, not knowing if a stray bullet’s gonna put a period to your life. Still, I can’t help but think that we’re guilty of overkill this time too. Now, it’s the CCTV footage of the shootout that’s doing the rounds on primetime slots.
Political parties are making the most of every mudslingin’ moment they get. And they’re ab-so-looooot-uh-ly lovin’ it. So much so that one prominent group just couldn’t wait to put out an ad in the paper asking citizens to vote for them if they wanted change. On Day Two of the siege at that. This, and the consequent blame game have finally convinced me that all our netas put together have a collective IQ + EQ in the region of -2500 (rounded).
Fresh opinions and theories have been thrown at my head every day of the past week. Public opinion also seems to follow a trend these days. Atleast the print representatives of the thinking public do.
First it was to point out that our heroes have fallen for the nation’s glory, and that we should not let their sacrifice go in vain. Weep Mumbai, for it’s your defining icon that’s under siege. THE Taj Mahal hotel. SoBo with its old-world charm has finally lost its peaceful aura to terrorist bullets.
Then it was to speculate on the possibility of an insider job. Otherwise, HOW could there have been such a massive intelligence failure?
All Indians everywhere, look seaward…..The very route used to fuel the communal riots of the early ‘90’s has been used again. Such audacity! Bull. If we couldn’t find the time to do anything in 15 years, then we had it coming.
Parallels, parallels everywhere. My…what a tangled web we weave.
India’s 9/11. Why we have to draw parallels with the US for every damn thing still mystifies me.
The NSG took only two hours to reach the Maldives when a coup started. Why nine within India? Buddy, if I knew that I would also tell you why we let off Union Carbide with nothing more than a rap on the knuckles for virtual genocide 24 years ago.
Angry declarations now. The celebrated Mumbaikar resilience may be finally showing signs of wear. Enough, we say!
The intellectual elite of the country scoff at the peace marches and candlelight vigils. This won’t get you anywhere, they smirk.
The latest question doing the rounds is why there was no coverage of the massacre at VT, no mention of thirty innocents who lost their lives.
Finally, the wheels have turned full circle.
How come Mumbai is finally demanding action?
Does chalta hai, yeh sab hota hai hold only for the aam aadmi? So, it hurts when the elite are hit in their watering holes eh??
And WHEN did the Taj become an icon of Mumbai?? The crowded trains of Mumbai define the spirit of the city better. Therefore, VT is a more appropriate choice of icon.
This country will never cease to amaze me.
In the meantime, I’m gonna go and light a candle for the dead at the makeshift shrine in the corner of my street. A shrine complete with a garishly done collage of pics of the slain top cops.
I’m no Socrates-meets-Einstein-meets-Gandhi hybrid, but I still maintain that some action, even of solidarity, is way WAAAYYY better than no action at all.
To cut a long story short, we Indians are back to doing what we do best. Pointing fingers.
Keep up the rigmarole people, and pretty soon we’ll have a nation that is more than willing to point the middle digit at the powers that be.
And then twiddle its billion times two thumbs till terror, tragedy and apathy meet and snuff out a hundred times something more innocent lives.
Yet again.
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